Thursday, 26 January 2017

THE WEDDING OF TES AND TERRY:

 When I first began seeing Daniel in concert
he used to tell a story between songs.
This is one of them written in poetry form
with his permission:
THE WEDDING OF TES AND TERRY:
This elderly couple,
Past the prime of their life.
Tes Tickle and Terry Bull,
Planned to become man and wife.

They planned their wedding,
Sooner than later.
"Cause at their age,
What did it matter.

The ceremony over,
Likewise the reception do.
They proceeded to the Bridal Suite,
To commence their honeymoon.

Feeling a wee bit self conscious
They sat back to back on the bed.
Then Tes broke the silence,
And to Terry cheerfully said.

"I'll change into something more comfortable
Dear husband of mine".
I promise this night will
Stay etched in your mind.

She reappeared  in a gown
That flowed to the ground.
The look on Terry's face,
Told her she'd did him proud.

She then took her teeth out
Into a container on the table.
Next came a glass eye
Affectionately called Mabel.

After this excertion she needed a rest.
Then proceeded to remove
Her false breast/

As his wife disintegrated
Before his very eyes.
His pupils grew wider
As big as pork pies.

She then asked for a screwdriver
As she reclined on the bed.
Without further ado
She unscrewed her false leg.

She then said to Terry,
"I'm Ready My Dear".
There was only one thing on his mind
And that was pure fear.

His ardour all dampened,
He looked at the door.
Should he sleep with his wife in the bed.
Or her spare parts on the floor.

So all you mature couples
Who have a wedding in sight.
Perhaps it's wise to have a test run
To ensure everything is Alright on the night.

Copyright and All rights reserved.
Yvonne Lewis.
From the book.
Negative V. Positive 2008:
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22 comments:

  1. That is so funny. Well done. Love the ide of the performer who tells stories between songs too. Great idea!

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    1. Thanks for your visit Marcia, much appreciated.

      Yvonne.

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  2. LOL That was funny. It pays to make sure your future life partner is in one piece or no more than two.

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    1. Thanks for your great comment Diane.

      YVONNE

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  3. :-D Dropped by from Sandra's blog. Harry Chapin used to tell stories during his concerts, too.

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    1. Many thanks for poppong over from Sandra's much appreciated.

      Yvonne.

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  4. Replies
    1. It was better when Daniel was telling the audience.
      Thanks for your comment.

      Yvonne.

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  5. lol always look at the merchandise before buying hahaha

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Pat. so far only got the dentures.

      Yvonne.

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  6. I came over from Sandra's blog and enjoyed this funny poem. Poor guy should have known all about her ..um...issues:) Now I am waiting about what he unscrews off.

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    1. Thanks Brigit for your popping over from Sandra;s loved your comment, Yes, I wonder what he do unscrew.

      Yvonne.

      Delete
  7. I came from Sandra's blog expecting long, unexplainable (and understandable) poetry, and instead found humor and fun. I remember a person who worked at the same facility as I, who was in a motorcycle accident, and had to have all his teeth replaced. He started going with an older woman who obviously wore false teeth. The joke was they had more in common than they realized because their teeth could share the same glass at night. For some reason I never laughed when someone at work said it.

    I believe your story was much funnier because I didn't know Tea and Terry.

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    1. Many thanks for soming over and reading my poem, I know what you meant by finding my poem funnier as you didn't know the people concerned in this story.

      Yvonne.

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  8. I'm dropping by from Sandra's blog. You have a great way with words.

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    Replies
    1. Many thanks for dropping by from Sandra's Mush appreciated for the kind words.

      Yvonne.

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  9. I came from Sandra's blog! Hi Yvonne! This was hilarious! LOL! Have a great day!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for coming by. Pleased you enjoyed the poem.

      Yvonne.

      Delete